


We Go Together

by Hey_WantA_Plum



Category: The Long Walk - Richard Bachman
Genre: Giving Up, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-05-07 19:39:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19216153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hey_WantA_Plum/pseuds/Hey_WantA_Plum
Summary: “Why not?”Ray asked simply with a tilt to his head. He rested his hands on his knees, god did it feel great to sit down. “I’m not going to argue with you on this. We either keep going together or we go out together. I’m not losing you to this walk too”





	We Go Together

On the morning of the fifth day of the Long Walk Raymond Garraty made a decision. It was a simple decision that, he supposed, had already been made up for him from the moment he witnessed Curley buy his ticket but just something he had never brought himself to do. He had decided to give up. 

Looking back on it the decision to just up and lay down was a waste. A waste of his life, a waste of everyone’s time, and most of all a waste of McVries’ effort. After all of those warnings he had taken to get him moving again, to save his life because ‘you’re going to be the one to win this Garraty. You’ve got to keep going to win.’ And maybe that’s the reason why he decided to give in, because of McVries. Pete had saved his hide more than once when he should have died. He should have bought his ticket a long time ago. He should have been wrapped up in those canvas body bags with his blood staining the concrete. What made McVries think that he was so deserving of winning this hellish event? What made him more deserving than any of their fallen walkers? All of these boys had families at home. Loved ones that would be getting a letter in a couple of days detailing the loss of their son but not to worry because ‘The young man passed away with dignity and his bravery will be commended.’ They shouldn’t have to be brave. They were all just kids! Kids marched off to their death like lambs to the slaughter while the rest of the nation watches on as if it was the finals of a baseball series. Crowds urged them on like they were animals purely there for entertainment. To the crowds they weren’t young men with futures and lives ahead of them. He wasn’t Ray Garraty: The 16 year old boy from Androscoggin county, with a mother waiting anxiously by the television with the hope that her son will make it to the next checkpoint. He wasn’t Ray Garraty, the boy who knew how to knit and knew how to dance the rhumba and the cha-cha. He wasn’t a person with a life and a personality. No, to these crowds he was just a number. A number that was expected to march on like a good little soldier while he smiled and waved at the onlookers like a pre programmed robot. The worst part of this wasn’t the dehumanization. He could handle being seen as a number, but the worst part was when he began to lose sight of who he was.

He was no longer Ray Garraty. Ray Garraty died at 9:00 am on May 1st when he took that very first step on this long and winding road. He still looked like the same boy but he knew deep down that he wasn’t the same. He hadn’t been the same ever since the killing began and he realized that all of these boys were just like him. They had lives and personalities and interests ad were just being gunned down like animals. Human beings were being killed in cold blood and there was nothing he could do about it unless he wanted to end up just like them. Olson and Parker had been example enough.

So one by one his friends drop and his resolve fizzled out along with their lives. Baker had been the last straw. If any of them had deserved this torture the Baker had deserved it the least out of all of them. Such a caring and kind friend, Baker had pushed past everything and in the end it had been one fall that had taken him out. A single fall that had broken something within him and had turned on a faucet of blood that had leaked out ceaselessly. 

Garraty gagged as the image of Baker’s blood soaked shirt came to mind. His bright eyes had dulled with death.

“Walk a little longer, Art”

Garraty’s eyes burned as if he was about to cry but he couldn’t. He had no tears left in him. He was exhausted and drained and wanted nothing more than to sit down and rest his feet. Just for a second. He dragged a hand up to rub at his eyes, his head turning to his left where Stebbins tredded on wordlessly. At some point the white rabbit had fallen into step with him, abandoning his post in the back. Well, there really was no back anymore with the three of them left. Stebbins, Garraty and McVries. A spark of panic jolted through him, his head shooting around to look for the other boy. He hadn’t heard from him and bit and he briefly wondered if he had somehow bought his ticket while he was in his stupor. That, Garraty knew, would serve to be the straw that broke the camel’s back. He couldn’t lose McVries too, not after everything they had been through. 

Ray sighed in relief when his eyes landed on McVries, a little ways behind them, weaving along as if he was seconds from giving in. Garraty’s heart ached for the other teen and he slowly fell back to match pace with his friend.

“McVries”

Silence. McVries eyes were downcast, his gaze focused on his feet stumbling along. He didn’t even appear to be aware that Ray was beside him.

“Hey Pete?” Garraty placed a hand on McVries’ shoulder resulting in him stumbling and out on the halftrack a soldier muttered a warning. Garraty paused, regret flooding him. All he seemed to cause for the poor guy was trouble.

“Garraty?”

 

“Yeah, It’s me”

The two lapsed into silence and Garraty found himself genuinely worried that he was about to witness another death. “You don’t look too good”

“What gave it away? My glowing complexion or my stunning smile?”McVries asked with a weak huff that Garraty guessed was supposed to be a laugh. “I’m not going to last much longer”

“Just walk a little longer” The familiar words tasted bitter on his tongue and he found himself wanting to vomit.

“Why? So I can eventually collapse and get my ticket without knowing any better? I told you at the start of this that I wanted to do this on my own terms. I’m not bowing out as some unconscious bastard as they shoot me to high hell and back” McVries’ tone was bitter and his face contorted into a small glare before somehow morphing into frighteningly serene smile. “Besides, Garraty my boy, once I’m gone all you’ll have left is to take down Stebbins.”

“Don’t talk like that”

“Why not? I won’t win. I knew I wouldn’t win from the get go, and I walked anyway. You have to win this, you still have everything ahead of you.”

Garraty huffed, raising his head to glare wildly at McVries, “And you don’t?! You always preach about how I’m going to win this and that I have to and you just treat yourself like you have nothing going for you. All of this is just suicide attempt because you want to end your life before it’s even began! I don’t care about how you see yourself, because as far as I can see you’re worth far more than you could ever see” Garraty closed his eyes, turning his head away from McVries. “If winning this means that I have to do it without you then I’d rather die right where I stand”

“Ra-”

“No, listen. You’ve given so much for me, nearly sacrificing yourself to get me going again when I deserved to die. You saved me when you could have just as easily let me die. Why? Why couldn’t you have just let me die?”

McVries face hardened and his aimed his head forward. “You know why, surely you’re not that stupid”

“No Pete, I don’t think I do”

Garraty studied the other boy’s face, his eyes scanning for some trace of...well anything. McVries’ face was completely unreadable. A blank mask that allowed no hint of his thoughts or emotions to slip through. “Because I love you, you jack ass” He grumbled almost silently  
“I love you and I know that I can’t have you. I knew that it was a bad idea to get attached because in the end I knew I would lose you, but damn it I fell for you anyway. I fell for every smile, every laugh, every damn little thing you do. You made me believe that maybe things wouldn’t be as bad as I thought but it was too late. We were already playing this deadly game and no matter how much I loved you I knew nothing would change the fact that one of us is going to die. We’re going to die and disappear and be forgotten, that’s just how this plays out.”  
“I saved you because you have so much value in this world. You have your mom and Jan to go back to. You have a life to live and in the end I’ll die and you’ll forget about me and move on to marry Jan and have that perfect family. You’ll forget about me but I could never forget about you. You’d be with me everyday of my life. I’d see you and everything we could have had and to be completely honest with you Ray, I would rather die than go through that. I can’t stand the thought of you dying while I go on as if somehow I’m just that much deserving of life than you are”

Garraty was silent while he tried to process McVries’ confession. The more he thought the angrier he became. What? Pete just thought he could give up and expect him to not care? That he would just see him as some other poor bastard that earned a ticket then turn around and just keep walking like it was nothing? You think I care that little about you that I could just completely forget about losing you” Garraty growled out his reply and reached out to grip McVries’ shoulder and forcibly turn him to look at him. “I don’t give a damn what you think about yourself but I’m not going to just lose you like that! I- I fucking love you too Pete! I’ll kill myself before I go on one fucking day without you, I can’t just forget about you like you were nothing…”

 

For a few beats the boys walked in silence. There was nothing but the sound of shuffling footsteps to fill the air and Ray’s mind was working a mile a minute. Had he scared McVries? Had he gone too far? Of course McVries had confessed his own feelings first but maybe this would be the last thing to push him over the edge. He would be the one thing to do McVries in for good and that thought scared him more than anything.

 

“I can’t go on much longer Garraty”McVries repeated quietly 

“It’s okay Pete”Garraty murmured

“I think it’s time to sit down”

“Okay”

Another warning was issued as McVries began to make his way towards the sidelines. The last of his strength was dedicated to sitting-more like collapsing into the dirt besides the crowds. He expected the soldiers to hop down from the half tracks but what he wasn’t expecting was to turn around to see Garraty following right after him. “You can’t do this”

“Why not?”Ray asked simply with a tilt to his head. He rested his hands on his knees, god did it feel great to sit down. “I’m not going to argue with you on this. We either keep going together or we go out together. I’m not losing you to this walk too”

“You’re sacrificing everything for some nobody like me”McVries muttered weakly

Ray shrugged wordlessly, scooting closer to Pete as the soldiers converged on them. Their rifles were raised to aim at them and he found himself thinking that this sight should have terrified him. He should be sobbing and begging for his life but for some reason he felt calm. Deep down he knew it was because Pete McVries was by his side and he refused to leave his side.

The Maine native reached out his arm to wrap around McVries, burying his head in his shoulder. “Wherever we go, I won’t let you go alone”


End file.
